I spoke in riddles. You spoke in rhymes.

Little mini rant-thing :)

I’m quitting smoking after taking a step back to assess why I do it.  I’ve found that literally one hit of a cigarette gives me just as much satisfaction as smoking a whole one. It’s seriously just a light in my brain that says “I want nicotine” and nothing else.  I can feel that it’s not good for me and honestly why should a feed such a pointless and unhealthy addiction.  I thought cigarettes were a part of me but they’re honestly a material thing that’s holding me back from being the entirely healthy and happy person I strive to be.  

Another thing that’s been bothering me lately is the weather.  I’m very bad with cold weather.  I’ve always attributed it to emotional stress or medications but I haven’t been taking any medications since the end of last winter and I have no emotional stress whatsoever.  Still I feel as if a fainting spell is right around the corner, my hands and feet are constantly tingling or numb and my head is in so much pain.  Some days I really do not want to get out of bed at all.  I’ve been trying to push through it and act as if I’m feeling fine but the truth is that I’m not.  And my boyfriend can tell and I’m pretty sure he’s upset by it and I know he’s going to see this post… I just feel bad because it snowed tonight and I’m sure he wanted to go out and have fun and throw snowballs with his friends, and as beautiful as the snow is, all I want to do is curl up with as many blankets as I can find and sleep until it’s spring.

p.s. I love you Jim <3